......

~sanz plz...dun cry...dun sad....ntg worth u to sad.....its a very natural thing....thy are cousins....u r juz a human tat do not hv any relation wth thm...both of them!!ok!!!she did ntg....she still can get his care is a very logic thing...how??u regret tat u did so much of thing??!!i told u na..dun put too much effort..y dun listen to me.....padan muka la now....u cry for wat now....u cry for wat...!!jz shut up la.....world alwiz is like tis...wont treat gud ppl wth gud thing....if u tell him tis prob...do u tink he will care??no!!noone will care bout u!!the most painful thing is,..u r the one who totally so fed up!!but u stiill hv to look at ur hp screen n pujuk tat ppl to be happy...wat a world is tis???!!!!!!is it fair for u...??she is so cheering over thr ....u are crying alone here...wat a joke....who wan to care bout u!!!wake up la sanz!!!!

~im totally speechless now.....y shud i so sad.......alwiz they are the most important ppl to u especially ur gf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IM JZ NTG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....

~i knw...sumtimes i gek u until u can die.....but soorrryyy lo...i juz making a joke...u dun alwiz so serious can ma??haizzzz........die..lo...die...lo....whatsapp cnt use alrdy..hw can i connect all over the ppl thn!!!0.oahahahahahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!especially u!!!!hope the thing will recover bek lo.....one more week scol gonna reopen...my old life gonna cum bek..but alwiz....holiday juz like started yesterday .....
no matter wat...holidayssssssss...i will miss u.....

......

~one more week goin to start bek scol...bt for me...is juz still yesterday oli strt holiday..../.\ y holiday pass so fast....but could be ok la..cz tis hldy nt tat bored....n i found tat every nite i gt bek to home..afte eat n taking my bath....i got ntg to do except tv n comp....but tis sem break i dun spend more time for comp....or even drama...bt i spend more time on sleep..sleeep...sleeeppp...n sleeppp....is was juz a nice activity....if my mum din keep on   mumble n  mumble.....-.-....its ok...i know whn strt scol 4months will gt no days to sleep...=D
althou will afraid the timetable wil disturb my work...but tis time i nt tat sked dy....jz duno y..bt tis time i hope can c the timetable more fast....so tat i could plan to go ponteng...hahahahahahaha...hope so la...but still i hope my result will be gud...

~today oli i knew tat the reasoni forget bout the raya stuf..is bcz i gt to scream out all at tambun...now  whn think bek i will found it is funny too!!haha...well...all past is juz let it past....i juz duno y he everytime...i oso duno hw to tell...ysdy oli talk bek ..i miss tat..u knw??i guess he wont knw bout it....bout the merdeka...i cnt gt to ipoh...at first i tot...juz left wthout inform him...but y evrytime at last...i gv up...duno for who..myself??for him??or for my job??althou i juz veli sad enough for tat day....then.......duno y he sick o stress tat day...the moment he slam on the table....i reli reli get dem shock...in my mind i juz tinking.....wathpn??my bro ask y i juz go n ask whthr his hand hurt...haha....im not angry cz he ask me to do thing...bt i juz duno y everytime u moody can u dun put ur attitude to us!!!  especially whn v duno even one shit thing...except ur gf n ur mum.....or izit u tink tat u r the one paying us so tat u could do like tat......fuck man......thr is juz two ways...v could listen to ur problem  althou v cnt solve it if u willing to share it..bt i knw tis is impossible cz the person who u wanna share is juz her....2nd ...u can do wtever u wan...bt juz plz dun put it on us...v are not toys......talk bout toys...i reli juz dem fucking hate him y everytime whn his sis exist he will treat me like his doll...push me away to his sis.....btw,his sis dun like to fetch me too...dun treat me like urs pet man..i could accept if u told me u cnt bring me..n think myself hw to go bek...i juz cant accept...y sjould u throw me juz  like tat ...or am i disturbing the time u wth ur gf......??????tats y...the next day.....i ask my dad to fetch me...coz im enough pek chek...!!!!!argggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!whn u gud in mood u cum to tlk wth me...ok..im happy wth it...but i juz duno y i dun tl him d truth........mayb i,m too sked cz on merdeka tat day..i was juz joking...seriously i was juz joking.....y he wanna gv a big  face n put all d vacancy outside..tis oso one of the thing i hate!!!n u still yell at me tat u could find othr person if i cnt wrk..heellloooo!!plz rmbr ur word!!!!i knw...tis world no one said cnt live wthout who rit?????u tink v dun care bout u??even ur sis could ask me bout u.....r aya was anthr long story.......i juz hate y he wan to rampas all my plan for holiday....especiaaly the laptop....no matter wat...for u,ur mum,gf,n them are most important for u...afte tat,whn i look at d laptop i will think bek of tat noon...i sit inside the car...im crying..bt i still hold for it....i cnt beleive u could said like  tat tome....u wan take bek the laptop.......i begin to think...y shud i do so much..is tis all worth...y shud i care so much whn he dun even    care bout me.....my feeling.............althou inside the car his voice touched my heart abit...my tears juz wan to run down from my eyes....u didnt knw bout it.......ever ytime u guess wt im tinking.....but tis time im not goin to let u guess anymore...in d next day i still help him to paste the paper....one more time i gv up,...duno y everytime i angry wth u....y couldnt it be long abit..y i still wan to help u...im juz a stupid shit...y i wanna help him!!!arrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
SANZ:RMBR!!!!!!MOST IMPORTANT FOR HIM IS SHE  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N U R JUZ NTG!!!!!!!
im learning....i knw..im learning to accept the fact...n im learning to let it go.....im learning not to care so much....im learning how to leave from him....and from the job tat i love so so so much................thr is juz too much sad n happy memories for me.......  :')

~什么时候开始冷淡。。我怀念以前一起聊天的晚上。。。。你永远都不懂。。。afte u bek frm sabah...u told me hw gud is sabah...is tat sabah tat gud for u...if ur mum is wrking thr....i tink u alrdy very early move to thr izit???is her tat important to u???

~finalli u asked me y so many days i din company u to breakfast.....im glad to hear tat....reli happy to hear tat...=Dyesh...im angry wth u...my mum even advice me..no use argue wth u...but i juz angry..ntg can do...n u asked y my dad cum fetch me tat nite..i juz reli wan to tell him bek..y u asked me to go ur sis car tat nite....i knw u r sick...bt i juz duno y i so pek chek......><"""""""" today finalli i waited to go company u breakfast...from 10 i waited till 12...without any col or sms.....everytime..go work...or anywer..u r the person who i wont sms o col...but juz waited....i waited till 12finalli u told me u cant cum..i dun have any angry bt juz dissapointed...y cnt u inform me lerrrrrrrrr.....so dissapointed....dissapointed till i go eat myself......hello man...be time abit la....if tis man was my bf....from early i alrdy kill him man......


~hmmmmmmm.......my mum  found a job finalli....hope she is ok...n hope  he forgot me tmr n i no need go work....xD i juz hope...u dun be alwiz moody....i knw u care us more thn v care bout u...bt plz knw tat no one of us tat din care bout u.....i knw.....our's care are never ever ever will be more gud thn hers......
one thing i hope u would knw is tat...i hate waiting especially waiting those person who i reli waited for it... :') now,i juz miss those nite moments v wa tghtr....y u hv stop it???????if reli wan me to give up......haizzzz....i dunwan to said the word out..im still coward for the fact....SOORRRYYY...:'(

~nitez everyone....tomorrow wil be a brand new day...oh ya!!!today no more raining..happy for tat!!!=D
i hope tmr  will be the same....n i will keep learning to keep my distance frm  ............  

.........

~haiyayayayaya...everytime i look tis blog i juz feel wanna cry...coz tis is oli the place i could cry out...time are passing so fast....now alrdy sept....and my holiday is goin to finish duno how many more days...bout 2 weeks gua...when scol started i knw it will be a veli veli bad day...........i dun like it...so,better enjoy the holiday now...but nt reli njoy la....wthout anything special oso...except bek to ipoh tat hari raya time....

~sept duno is a gud o bad beginning...all thosee are bad things happen...the raya thingy i alrdy forgot bout it...luckily i could search a fren who can listen to my stupid stuff...but gt sum sentence she send to me are very useful like 'ppl alwiz care for the ppl who dun care for them'this all those sentence reli make my tears drop...i stil remember tat nite..tat day...i cry foe a whole nite..cry until im tired n sleep tat nite...evrything he did is truly very logic bt im juz duno so pek chek lo.....but my fren told is very truth ...is not worth i put myself in all those stupid trouble.....she told me tat is a nature....ppl alwiz ignore ppl who care for them...
'no one is perfect in tis world,.....high expectation will bring high dissapointed...'tis is a very sad case..haizzz..tat nite de thing i dunwan to repeat it anymore...all i remember is d moment inside the car his voice reli got touched me some...i felt...haizzz...juz very......n he explain me....all i can do is listen...bt luckily i could hold on my tear.......

~anthr thing is on merdeka day i was juz reli joking tat day....reli..i juz din think so much..n i reli hope tat i could go ipoh at that moment ...why???WHY??WHY?y he wan to becum so angry sddnly cum n scold me
!wat i did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
today more pek chek..if dunwan bring me u tel me!!dun push me away to other ppl/....i feel myself is a toy/....u knw wat is toy...!!reli wtf la today!1!!!!!!!!!!!

........

~哭了出来。。。真的又累。。又舒服。。。连戏也没心情看了。。。好想睡觉。。。

pek cek!!!>

~不想讲话的话就别来找我！！mcb!!!!!我很dulan ahhhhhh!!!!!!你很幸运。。你烦有人跟你一起烦。。你忙有人会去关心你。。！！！你的所有的心情都有本事影响一个人！！！不高兴 的时候就什么都可以不理。。好的时候什么都可以讲完出来。。！但我明白人都是这样！！！为什么就是你。。我偏片就很不爽。。。我都不明白跟你做将多做么！！你一点也不领情!!除了给我工钱。。你可以领情一点吗。。！！我真的不想再将辛苦下去了。。我真的不知道要怎样去面对你！！我好累。。。我好想不干了。。！！我连一个想关心你的理由也轮不到我。。！！为什么我还要留在你那里！！！。。。我真的真的。。好痛苦！！！！！

 i have been tel myself a thousand million times do not write bout u in tis stupid blog n is juz wasting my time coz  i don even worth a person tat can even ask how good are u........!!!!!!wat the hell i reli crazy bout tis.....i  duno y still can stay thr...!!i juz hopw i wan to RESIGN NOW!!!!!!!!y the whole world ppl oso like tis!!im reli tired enough of u........y........i hvg exam...doin revision..i knw im too stress ...y watever u do will mke my mood chge wth u!!!watthefuck!!!!!!i reli hope tis feeling is juz a 错觉。。我真的 好希望这是个错觉。。！！我不知道我几时会忍不住！！u said wan bring me sumwer.....i reli dunwan to go if u go wth thm i dunwan to be like a toys/!!!i dun like the feeling juz like tat nite...!!these things are keep on repeat repeat n repeat....wat the heck!!!!!how can tis thing re[eat so many times..if it happen again i wont never ever go wth u anymore..........!!!!!!!afte i finis my exam im goin to paybek!!!!!!!!u njoy ur day wth them la/!!!i dunwan to be kacau daun o toys anymore....i give up on u i reli giv up!!!!!!I RE;I HATE Y wan treat me like tat tat nite...juz now....n tat day...i juz wan to ask how r u...but i cnt even gt the ans..i knw....u alrdy tell thm...for me....tell o no tell is juz FINE..........

I HATE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>

WEISHENME为什么！！为什么！！我连关心你的及格都没有/！！！我领原放弃我喜欢的东西。。。也不要看到我自己受苦。。。！！！！i reli duno how to describe my feeling now..i know u gt thm...so im gvg up  now............plz dun do smtg mke me fells sucks anymore!!!!!i reli scared one moment i will said the word out......................i juz waiting for them to cum now..thn is my time to REST!!!!!!!!!

可以做自己喜欢做的事情。。真的很开心！

~我可不可以希望那天永远都不要到来。。因为我真的真的真的真的很喜欢我在做着的东西。。我只想过这种简单的生活。。可不可以让我选我喜欢做的工。。让我选我想要走的路。。我真的很难想象。。如果那天真的到来了。。我们会变成。。什么样。。他们根本就不懂我是有多么的不舍。。人次总。。还是要分开。。我只是不想也不要分开。。其实到现在我真的还不清楚。。我到底要的是什么。。？要继续走还是。。转个弯。。去选我喜欢做的事情。。救命啊！！！我真的没办法了。。。。
有时候真的会后悔为什么当初不好好想清楚。。天。。请你一定要帮我，。。我只想做我先在做的东西。。其他的我都不想做。。。:(


today duno y im so stupid....stupid until duno how to said...i have done two of the stupid things an d at last i din said it out too...its too ridiculous man...!!next time i shud practice to not pay too much attention when im selling sumting to cust...tis is my weakness ....!!while the cust try to take away my attention...i will forgot everytg...for wat have i did,....dem it man!!wont they feel fuck when they juz take sumting n run away/..damn it!!!i have to keep practice practice n practice..i know..... :( 
i had to promise anthr thing is next time i will reli protect my phone...car....laptop n everytg else..i reli never meant to hurt them.....i will try to protect it..plz believe me....n  will learn how to talk....ahhhh...y thr is so many things i have to change it!!!
thought i can have a nice week next week coz i oredy planned everytg to replace n all tat...but so sad tat i still have presentation on next fri..im so sad to hear tat man...reli so sad....im glad tat my fren finalli cuming bek from pinang!!cant wait to see her .....i reli miss them so much n sumtimes i would think tat is so gud if v r still tghthr...=D
if tis world everything can take money than gud lo....coz i juz have too much of thing tat i havent buy lo...haizzzzzz.......afte so long i still have to tell him tat sorry if sumtimes i make trouble to u...i know..i alwiz did it...hmmm..n thx for everytg....没有了那里就好想我生活中却少了一样东西。。所以我真的很不想离开。。 :'( fews day more doc gonna leave us duno for how long but i juz wish to c him bek before convo...without him thr ntg to laugh n eat d.hahaha....tat dayi heard from radio tat jane not goin to be dj anymnore...sddnly i felt like crying...she had been working thr for 4 years....its so sad for her to leave juz like tat....i only work for one year and the half...i alrdy cant imagine wat will i do if i leave tis job..although sumtimes i reli wan to leave when thr is a quarrell time...i know i have find a place tat i never laugh until so how i wan to laugh...laugh until the max..except than in front of my family....anyway,no point to think so far coz noone will know wat will happen n noone know.....其实你真的 会在意吗??

about my fren....now i understand is too hard to find sum fren tat to silly with u ..not only laugh wth u but also cry with u...i do not want to care to deep n put so much attention to them n him,...becoz..in the end u wouldn't know whether thy reli care for u o not.......they already from early forgot about me...so no point i jealous.....if one 'sorry' word oso u dun wan to said it out and juz like is ONLY OUR fault...its fine...tehy both can but i cant lo.......

tis year bday wish is juz same as usuall....i wish for the same thing but i know its impossible to happen..but at least let me have sumone to sara me la...xp haha ....life is too hard to walk....i know...

虽然又老了一岁。。可是还是很期待。。。我们一起来倒数六天！！嘻嘻。。=D
happi july everyone!!i love u mum...dad..... <3

LIFE

~~mannnnnn.....my days have been so much stucks n bz man...........week 7...8....9......till exam assgnmnt....

but assgnmnt thx to my geng...i reli love them so much......bcz i no need do aniting for eat...hahaha...reli thx them....ler....

~ ~ yyyyyyyoooooooooo....today giv ppl scld summore....feel so hurt wan leh...i duno y la...i wont feel angry wan.... :'( yali went haapppy holiday dy....juz left me alone thr... :'( not oli her ....even dc oso goin to move dy...every sat now no more fast food....no more jokes..no more help...no more listening them to merepek thing.....haizzzz.....aneway...GOOD LUCKS TO U GUY still wan go for one yr wor....haizzz...afte one yer i oso duno wer to go dy lo.. :'( keepg said tat bored ..bt inside me juz wan to said..ni hai you wo ma.. :p whn i ask hm to go thr every weekend...hw much i wan to said..ni laopobushi zai na bian ah!!!haizzz...stupid la...cnt do like tat laaaaaa...i tink in tis one yr v got ntg to eat dy la.everything hav to be xi guan de la... :D.....today i know i becum very stupid i becum more lembap duno wat the heellll laaa!!!im sooo stupid mannnn!!!shud need keep practice ...practice...n practice!!!!

~~juz now i learn a new bad word in hakka .....haha...dem nice n shun the word........hahahaha,....wat they told is reli true..almost a year i worked thr...but i still need to learnt how to talk....need to work like a dog to talk ler.....hAIZZZ....but i juz will lawan the him oli...but i duno he let me win ahhh...or reli i win....hahaxxx...but sorry la...everytime i do fault ..u scold me..u still need wan cum to me...sorriiiiiii.....reeelliiii sorrriiiiiii....... :(

~now oli i know tat every family will hav their own story....even my shop thr....every day i heard their story.....happi...sad...or...angry............sorii if sumtimes i din listen to u...sorii tat sumtimes i talk so loud to u....i promise myself i will learn n learn n keep on learning....but im very confused wat im doin now izit worth for it??can i trust.....

~~GOD...plz bless us...i love them very much include 'them'..... <3 <3

fuck!!!!!!!!

~wat a cibai fuck day ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!got a human tat wont do mistake in this world mehhhhhhhhhh.........!!!!!!!!!!ma cho hai......dun let me c the 2 gurls summore im gonna kill them....!!!i cnt understand myself im angry wth him or wth tat three indians gurllll....fuck la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!i know is my fault but u need like tat or not oh......one wrong close up all my goods la.....i now oli know the meaning n today i experience it........ok la....u r the BOSS rit...wat else i can said...ntg i cpuld teelllll...wat the fuck......i cnt blame anyone...reli i cant blame....next time i rather dun do anything......dun care anything......belahhhlaaaa... i wan keep my distance....i wan leave....!!!! ~trust??my fren ask me to trust u wor??can o not oh??i dun tink so lo....haizzzzzz.... im stupid i reli stupid....is my fault y i still wan cry...padan muka la i kena marah...!!y wan cry!!fuck!!im not who oso la....who gonna care bout me....no one...no one...... :'( after tis incident.......... ~wat should i do now???wat feeling i shud bring???i duno y all d ppl are the same... n u oso d same oli.....i juz know in tat moment im reli toooooooo fucking shit sked n angry........n all can i do is my tears keep rolling down.....y i cried...i dun understand la.......last time oso i wont cry.....tis time i duno y....tis time juz let me feel tat its reli a gud choice for me to leave.............till tis moment oli i know...im not important at all!!tats all i know...... ~today is a fuck day....but i dunwan let my family to see it....i muz be strong n he is juz ur BOSS......i will alwiz keep remind myself...'keep my distance'

..............

~lol...blogger change new look....quite shock.... ~hmmmm...today finnallly timetable release dy....kinda....i duno how to said ....but human rit...dun so tamak la....its ok dy la...i tink so...bt i dun understand y on monday is until 5;30pm lo..haiz.....................but others day is 2pm...2pm...2pm lo.......hmmmm.....i duno la....scol gonna reopen on monday but im not planning to go ....coz my fren all havent cum bek...i neeed to wake up early dy in the morning.... :'( sad la...one month holiday juz past like tat....!!!!arrrggghhhhh11!!!!yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!i juz wan to shout now :'( ~work thr...haiiiizzzzzz....i duno wat to tell la....totallly bad mood...... 我我已经输了一半......另一半我应该怎么做？？？？give up???i try...i try....

reading mind

~yeaaaaaaaaaaa.....u alwiz read wt im tinking....how can u do tat??can i read bek wat u tinking....at least let me win once.....=D
how can u do tat....im totally shock of it.....GOSH!!!!!!
wat u told i listen coz it can make me feel more gud...comfort... :')

hmmmmmmm

~so fast bu ji bu jue....still one more weeks left....usual life....scol work...scol....work...now juz waited for the timetable n result to cum out lo...
hopes everytg goes well la,.... :)
~yesterday....while working time got a tb auntie...told sumting tat ...tat...i duno how to repond for it....reli duno wan put wat impression to ans her ....hmmmmmmm...
mayb she juz joking....i oso like ok lo........tat word i know is such a hurt word...bt wan do....actualli even myself duno wat the meaning of 'business admin' lo....its no point to fight bek if they wanna told like tat.....but afte tAT im alone in the shop...i know i started cnt to calm down bt i tried....yeaaaaaa....i do it....=D
hmmmmmm...thn he told me juz nw tat fellow tell the word ....dun take it so serious....u can hear bt dun put inside ur heart.......TIS SENTENCE........y u wanna told me??do i look i care or do i look sad....or do u care....n continued with she is umone who no education bt cn wrk till hih level...tats y...bt nwadays wthout education u cnt find a job...bt dun stdy till like doctor....hahax...finalli i smile wth wt he said...i understand tis world i oso duno wan said fair o not fair....those ppl with low education can get a job RM1***,2*** and ++++....wat is tis caLL I duno............inside d car i juz keep on tinking n tinkingof d word.....is it reli........thn im absolutely shock tat nite again he asked for dun take d word too serious,....tis time i reli smile.... =D duno for wat ...bodoh.....
but i know till now i still remember the word........i duno how to take it...
neway....thx to u.....=D

~tmr ...feel dunwan to go work.....but.....wat can do...hmmmmmmmmmmmm.....its time for me to go sleep.....tomro will b a brand new day rit??=D

~tat day i reli miss d moment....i duno whthr .............

haizzzzzzz......

Tis few days i saw bek alot of ppl tat i hvnt met such a long.. long....long....time....first is start from tat noon...i saw bek the uncle who had been for accident n almost...a year din met him bek...a year...a year...he suddenly drive his car n stop in front of me asked where u goin??work??OMG!!at tat moment im reli totally shock.about it....i juz duno wT shudni ans n i turned bek to look for my mum...haha...tat moment i reli shock la...its so glad tat nowDays he Lrdy can drive n walked up d stairs ...i knw is so much of painful...but all is ok now... =D

D 2nd person was him...is such..hmmmm....half year??i doesnt meet him...oh god i miss him so much laaaa......is all out of a sudden...y y...i keep on asking y he would appear in my shop....do u tink of me.......??do u nw hw much i miss u??
hwever...no mattr hw much heppi i saw him bek...i knw cnt chge anytg...
就算见回一个你想念。。深爱过的人。。又怎样。。他站在你面前的那一秒。。。你连一句话也说不出口。。。
只是知道你有多想念多想念那个人。。。reli.i miss u so much...n i juz wannna lt u knw tat im still loving u........

................

~two more weeks my holiday gonna finis......its feel sucks!!!i want to stay in holiday duno y........its feel so gud enough!!!!!bt still i got holiday bt no frenss...
my frenssssssssssssss.......haiiiiizzzzz.....i miss her n him......how r u??did u miss me??n do u know how much i miss u???wat is in my mind actualli...u know i will wait for u....<3
i dun feel to talk tis fews days thou he talk to me...i juz duno y....i hate it!!!
sucks!!!but i mis d moment tlkg wth him lo...!!!!haaaahhhhhaaaaiiiiihyayayyayaayayya
im in teouble izit....!!!how can!!!how can!!!


~goodnitez la everyone....i wan continue my drama n i know tis thurs will be a veryy sad day for me lo....... :'( can i sick on ts thurs??so tat i hv a reason for not gooinnnnnnggggggggggggggg.........pllllllllllllllllllllllllzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........how shud i goin to face her............aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

stupdddddddddddddddddd laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!why wan treat me like tis!!!!!!!

.........

~haiyayayayayayayayaya......very sad ahhh todayyyyy...YYYYYYYY!!!!y im sooooo stupid wan ahhhhhh....dem u!!!!hw cn u play like tis.......money man...!!!izit so funny??
i dun tink so loooo.....u wear expensive talk expensive ....bt got wat fuck use...!!??
buying thing like shit......if u cnt afford tat u dun act like u r expensive laaaaa...
watthe fuck....next time whn u cum bek....no matter wat u wan to do....i wont layan u anymore.......u go eat shit la......cb...!!!haizzzz...afte gv tis uncle gek once ahhh i felt like crying dy...so sad ahhhhhhhhhh....hw can i b tis stupid....the whole day i felt stupid lo.....only i knw eventhou alrdy a year im here....i still cnt help anything more lo.....i feel useless....wt hpn actualli.....?izit bcz of my interest??
or i get bored??or bcz i gt too more freedom??haizzzz....im so confused la....i felt reli didssapointed whenever he was so busy i cnt help anytg lo..... :'(summore all d customer oso buli me wannn.... :"(

~today he said tat i waste time....waste money.....at tat moment....i reli wanna drop my tear...at tat moment im tinking.....am i reli waste time n money....??if like taty im still walk on....shud i givv up n stop everyting now.....im reli din tink of it.......my interest reli not in study....study is not my path.....relliiii...thn he ask wat u wanna do afte finis diplome....y....y...y...all d thing he asked i cnt ans at all....tat moment...i reli blur thr...i juz wanna drop my tear....i reli wish sumone was thr to understand me...i even dun undrstnd wt im doin now...afte diploma wt im onna dooo...wat im gonna do....i reli duno....is tat im wastg my time n my parents money now.........................
y u alwiz could read wt im tinking n y alwiz i duno wat n how i cud ans u....who r u in my life????

~i juz felt tat im using ur ting so much....ur phone ur laptop even sum of my stuff oso given by u....world is so complicated....r u reli gud...or u juz wan me to stay...???juz using each other...i dunwan to stay in tis condition lo...is better i go find other job outside n play with so much of ppl outside thr....
whn i tld everyone bout my job...every1 said u r so gud n is hard to find sum1 like u.......but i duno is it real gud...or juz a play to make me stay....i need to grow laaaaa....world is complicated....i alwiz tot tat u r relii guddd...bt afte alll i m doubting whether my guess is true or wat...bt whnever i said i wan chge my job thy will said....y u shud change u got so gud place....haiiiizzz...wat shud i do...change or dun change.....sumhow....sumtimes i asked myself y i stay at my first job so long??izit bcz first time i cum out n work...or.....???haiiiiizzzzz...im confusing....................................................
his two sentence could make me becum so confused........................confused....

~in d car i heard sumting more sad....who is tat ppl for u actualli???gf??wife??partner??fren??best fren??or a fren tat more than fren but low than lover...??u like her??or she like u???who u told me tat sentence i reli juz wanna shout at u...i wan to take off for that four daysssss....is no point im sitting thr....i know.... :'( how could i face it.....how??why wanna treat me like tis...??at least gv me a ans....im tired of gueesssing n i nedd to do a decide....plzz la.....tis follow thurs will be a veryy dissapointed day for me....i know...................................

18th day of 2012.......

~today finally.....go settle d0wn my hair....wish to dye...for a long time...n i did it today.....1st time dye hair....n let a guy do my hair....neway,thx for my mum to paying....=D i told my boss to be wrk on 1.....bt i reach thr bout 4...luckily ntg hpn....fuhhhhh........

tis few weeks n fews day....evry1 was busying decorate hse n did all the new year stuff....but i juz same wth othrs....no feeling duno y.....but i juz waiting for my holiday!!i want sleep....!!/,\ tis holiday not gud at all!!!no ttime to sleep....i hope tat my stomach will becum better....dun make me feel sick of it plz......

~sumtimes its quite gud to have a decision maker beside u.....n i tink i hv found 1 kut..........tis fews days still thinkg wat shud i do....??buy o dun buy.....gosh!!! i duno wat shud i do.....tis fews days was reli fckg tired n hot n i duno how i wannna describe n my stomach are so shit paining,,...!!!!war's happening...!!!!

~tis time i gt the same feeling agn....y....yy....y shud a human hv a feeling called 'jealous'.....i shouldn't gt jealous actually...im nt blg to any1 oso...n im jz ntg in front of......i hate tis feeling so much!!i knw im in trouble....WHEN i care bout who....what.....n y it's happened,....haizzz....y shud i care so much...y shud i care when sometimes u so cold to me...n sometimes u become so friend to me......wat happen to me actualli...y those feelings all cum bek...??im keep on telling myself is impossible....imposibble to ha[[en n dun tinkk bout it anymore...n sometimes i choose to leave!!!im so sick of it....fall in love once is enough ....n i dunwanna hurt twice....it relli hurt when u loving sumone tat dun love u;...more hurt...~~~i dunwa to hurted the second time....busy had make our distance more far apart....i dun like...why????tis time I WONT FOLLOW MY HEART...!!!LET ME CONTROL U!!!IM NOT GONNA FALLING IN LOVE....!!!!!!

~2012.......

~new year.....new life....??
new year.....i will walk without u.,....
new year.....no more tears for the ppl who dun worth it anymore
new year.....i wan sumone new....=D
new year.....new hopessss.....
HEPPI NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!